What makes a monkey rant in cyberspace?

Primates, and especially simians, are known for their exceptional ways of adapting to the environment they inhabit. To name just a few of their distinguishing features:

  1. shoulder joints which allow high degrees of movement in all directions;
  2. five digits on the fore and hind limbs with opposable thumbs and big toes
  3. nailson the fingers and toes (in most species);
  4. sensitive tactile pads on the ends of the digits;
  5. a trend towards a reduced snout and flattened face, attributed to a reliance on vision at the expense of olfaction (most notably in haplorrhines, and less so in strepsirrhines);
  6. a complex visual system with stereoscopic vision, high visual acuity and color vision;
  7. a brain having a well-developed cerebellum with posterior lobeand a Calcarine fissure;
  8. a large brain in comparison to body size, especially in simians;
  9. differentiation of an enlarged cerebral cortex;

  1. Pough, F. W., Janis, C. M. & Heiser, J. B. (2005) [1979]. “Characteristics of Primates”. Vertebrate Life (7th ed.). Pearson. pp. 630. ISBN 0-13-127836-3.
  2. Soligo, C., Müller, A.E. (1999). “Nails and claws in primate evolution”. Journal of Human Evolution 36 (1): 97–114. doi:10.1006/jhev.1998.0263PMID 9924135.
One can easily notice that these traits make monkeys perfect cyborg animals, that can take up the role of professional internet trolls and more importantly, make the monkey business flourish.
This particular cyborg monkey enjoys ranting about several key topics:
  • Sexism
  • Science
  • Racism
  • Homo- and transphobia
  • Capitalist system
  • “Nature” with capital N
  • Class struggle
  • Nationalism
  • Ecology
  • Technology
  • Spieciesism
  • Politics
  • Patriarchy
  • Neocolonialism
  • etc.
Please, don’t be surprised if some posts will appear in a monkey language — this primate is bilingual, so depending on what makes her rant she will choose her own way to express it. Cyborg monkey will also provide a lot of visual material (see point number 6), as she learned how to use a camera (see points 1, 2, 4, 6). You will find a proof for my last point here.  Enjoy this monkey business!

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